I've been getting a lot of questions reguarding my name, so I figured I'd clear a few things up for you guys. I am a Land Pirate. Now now, don't worry, I'll explain.
A land pirate differs from a regular pirate. We are much cooler. We do not live near bodies of water that can easily be pirated, so we're just...pirates. I've been considering starting a club, but nobody would join, so I guess I won't. Anyways, I'm a demon ninja, because I am a heathen ninja. Yes, I am a pirate AND a ninja. Don't believe me?
Poor you.

Anyone got any questions?
If you do, see the lady at the front desk.
If she isn't there, come back on mondays.